Elopement Myths: Busted

Planning Resources

Sep 3

Elopement [ ih-lohp-muhnt ]
noun
1. an act or instance of running off secretly, as to be married.

If you’re like me, you grew up believing that eloping was not the right way to get married. People who eloped were only doing so because they were hiding something or scared of what their family would think. It’s crazy that this is what I thought as my Dad and step mom eloped when I was young and I never thought anything of it. Myself and many other elopement photographers are working to change how the wedding industry views elopements. Elopements are changing and so should the definition. I’ve created my own definition of what an elopement is:

An elopement is an intimate, laid-back way to commit your lives to each other in a way that is authentic to you.

Now that elopements have changed, let’s look at the other myths that are perpetuated by the big wedding industry.

Elopement Myth #1: They only happen in Las Vegas or at the courthouse.

False. As I said above, this is not the only way to elope. Now, you certainly can get married in Las Vegas or at the courthouse. In fact, I’m a big fan of Las Vegas and shooting a wedding at The Neon Museum is an absolute *dream* of mine ever since I was a kid watching Mars Attacks. You can elope wherever you want.

That’s what is so great about choosing to elope as the options are literally endless. There are so many great spots that you just can’t get married at if you are having a big wedding due to guest limits. Avoid the stress that comes with a large guest count and get married in a place you really want to, even if that’s in Vegas or at the courthouse. It’s YOUR day.

Elopement Myth #2: They are selfish and don’t allow for family and/or friends.

False. While a lot of elopements are just the couple, a ton of couples choose to include their closest family/friends. Like I said above, elopements are a way to get married in a way that is authentic to you. If that means that your closest family and/or friends are by your side, then that is totally okay! I photograph weddings under 30 guests and consider this an elopement as long as the focus of the day is on you and your relationship.

As far as being selfish, I can’t think of a better time to be just that. Your wedding day is just that, YOUR wedding day. It shouldn’t be about other people or things and this is where a lot of drama and stress of a big wedding comes into play.

How do you want to remember your wedding day in ten years? As a day where you did exactly what you wanted to? Or a day where your family or society pressured you into a day that didn’t feel authentic to your relationship?

Elopement Myth #3: Couples don’t want more than 1 or 2 hours of photos.

False. Bears eat beets. Sorry, I had to get that out of the way as it’s all I could think of as I kept writing false.

This myth is perpetuated by the big wedding industry to make you feel like eloping is “less than”. Let me make something very, very clear. An elopement is your wedding day and it is just as meaningful, if not more, as a big wedding. A wedding photographer would never offer 2 hours of coverage to a couple having a big wedding because they want to capture the whole wedding day. Your elopement is just that, your wedding day. You still get ready, you still have that “wow” moment of seeing each other for the first time in your attire, you still have a ceremony, and you still become legally married.

Don’t you want to be able to look back on your wedding day and remember the whole thing, not just a couple hours worth of pictures that don’t tell your whole story?

Elopement Myth #4: They are last minute weddings and don’t require planning.

False. While there are some last minute weddings, many couples plan their elopement 6-12 months out. There may not be as many details to plan for an elopement, but there is still planning involved. The nice thing about eloping is you can choose how much you want to plan.

It can be as elaborate or as minimal as you want it to be. You can incorporate a fun adventure into your day. There are so many options for this – helicopter ride, hot air balloon ride, rafting, hiking, skydiving, kayaking, rock climbing, etc. Do you want to have a nice meal to celebrate your vows? You can have a picnic or even hire a chef to prepare a dinner for you. The possibilities are endless.

I help you plan a lot of your elopement day. I spend about 20 – 30 hours scouting for amazing, off-the-beaten path locations for my couples. There are so many factors that come into play with planning for your elopement location and I help you take all of them into account.

You can definitely get married last minute if you want to and we can pull off planning the perfect elopement in a short time-frame. However, don’t feel like you can’t spend the time to plan just because we are told that’s not how it normally works. It is still your wedding day and you can put as much or as little planning into it as you want.

Elopement Myth #5: They are a cheap way to get married.

False. They are often less expensive than a big wedding, but there is still a cost associated with eloping. The cost depends on what you want to do with your wedding day. Elopements cost upwards of $10,000. There are still travel costs, photo coverage, wedding attire, bouquet (if you want), permit fees, park entry costs (if you choose to get married in a National or State Park), videographer, officiant, rental car, adventure (maybe you want to take a helicopter ride), and anything else you want to incorporate.

The average wedding in 2019 cost $38,700 according to Wedding Wire. So while an elopement is less expensive, they aren’t a “cheap” way to get married. They are just a more laid back and intentional way to get married.

I’ve dived into the top 6 reasons couples choose to elope, and price isn’t one of them. You can view the reasons by clicking here.

Elopement Myth #6 They aren’t the “right” way to get married.

This one really pisses me off and is the reason I started this business. Society has done a great job in making people feel like there is one way to get married. How many movies are there with a couple getting married? And how many of those are elopements? Very few. Sure, Carrie Bradshaw went to the courthouse after her disastrous 1st attempt with Big, but name some more. I’ll wait.

The point is that you deserve to get married exactly how you want, no matter what it looks like.